Intentional living: Tips on personal effectiveness.

Recently, in a social media platform that I belong, we watched a video and it sparked some very informative and interesting conversations and contributions among the members. These conversations, more than the video drove me to write this article. Interestingly this has been an internalized CRUSADE I look for every opportunity to exhibit. The recorder of the video used the word BUGA, to represent sexual intercourse between couples. She highlighted the fear for men, after age 50 to engage in consistent meaningful and satisfying sexual activities with their spouses due to certain health conditions consequent to unhealthy living and as a result they rely on pills to enhance performance.

Let’s explore what I call the 4 basic aspects of human living: the physical, the mental, the emotional/social and the spiritual. To achieve self-actualization/fulfillment and ultimately a happy life, we ought to live and lead a balanced-life. That is intentionally enhancing all 4 aspects of living on consistent basis.

But to the contrary majority of people tend to focus on a particular aspect at a time leaving other 3 for want of attention. You can imagine choosing to just focus on only making sure your automobile has got good tyres and NOT be concerned if it’s got the headlamps in good condition. Yes you can drive the car during the day, but it won’t take long and the night time will catch up with you.

THE PHYSICAL
This deals with our physical body and well-being. You must have a productive exercise plan and try to adhere to it, and aim to achieve not lower than 70% consistently. This is where annual total medical check- up, comes in, regular monitoring and managing of blood pressure. For a person over the age of 40, you must target to achieve minimum of 6miles walk every week. Get access to acupuncture to strengthen your leg joints and muscles. Are you worried about that pot belly? A disciplined 50 sit-ups every morning and night, right there in your bedroom or bathroom, I guarantee you can take care of that worry, between 3 to 6months. The importance of this aspect cannot be over emphasized.

Naturally for men, the tendency to become over-weight, sets in after the age of 40. Strategic planning and adherence to working on plans and careers are also decided in accordance with what the body and mind can carry. Our stress level management strategy should be a constant conscious habit. This ultimately facilitates and enhances BUGA! BUGA!! and its optimization. A sound body radiates/exhumes confidence and enthusiasm, to engage in desired activities.

THE MENTAL
Some of us believe that after school, we are done with reading and mental academic tasking. They shift focus to primarily on making money and pursuing chosen careers. Just like the physical body, our mental muscles require constant exercise, engagement and challenge. It is suggested that you read at least 6 books a year. Spread across every aspect of life. Read: journals, magazines, novels, biographies, motivational books, business books and spiritual books. Of course for Christians/believers, daily study of the bible breeds peaceful life and wisdom. If I may ask, what book are you reading currently? The more you enhance your mind the more reliable it becomes, and it exhumes confidence too. From it springs all the ideas to succeed in life. You will attract great minds too that ultimately can as well stimulate your brains. While waiting for your flight at the airport, waiting at doctor’s office often presents an opportunity every now and then. Read to know. No matter how old the article is, so long as you do not know the topic or story line, read it, when you find it. Make it intentional to engage your mind productively. You rely on the mind for decision-making every minute of your life. Evidently, what you achieve with your life depends on cumulative decisions made through the course of it. Hence, the need to have a sound mind.

THE SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL
This is where most people are NEVER intentional. We believe it flows naturally. We tend to go with the flow. Ultimately, the quality of our ability to interact effectively with others especially our spouses, to a large extent determines our level of daily peace and happiness. Ask yourself these questions: are you trustworthy? Are you reliable? Do you listen to people with empathy? Do you listen to understand or to find fault in what is said? How much effort are you consciously making to be a good listener? Do you look out for other people’s good? Do you sacrifice for the real sense of the word?

There is a saying that GOOD IS NOT GOOD UNTIL IT’S SHARED. Until we become intentional to always try to at least understand others and their view point, our level of frustration will be high on daily basis. You must be intentional about what you say, always strive to edify and be kind. Be true to your friends, associate, colleagues and relatives and ultimately, your spouse. Mean what you say. Keep your promises. Effective and enjoyable BUGA, for women starts from some little things you do hours before the actual physical engagement. Turn her on with the quality of your daily intentional acts.

When there is a conflict, start from inside-out. It’s easier to resolve conflict starting from within. The tendency to be intentional about this strengthens our relationship with spouses and precedes wonderful BUGA BUGA times. Enjoyment of BUGA BUGA starts from how you truly care and show care, on little things and at times our spouses need our shoulders to lean on. Showing that you care is very important, and this is an area most men fail, they expect their spouses to know they care.

You will agree with me that a happy personal life/relationship transcends SUPER performance at the workplace. It pays to be a reliable and trustworthy friend/partner.

SPIRITUAL
Every aspect of living is linked and rooted in this. The stubbornness to deny or not recognize the existence of God and live as He would demand us to is the cause of the high level of frustration in the world today. The more science tries to make us believe that we can live and provide all that we need without God, the more life is getting frustratingly complex. People are increasingly getting lonely and bored even in a crowd.

Roosevelt once said, ‘an unexamined life is generally not worth living’ we need to continually retrace our steps and root to God. How often do you conduct personal retreats and reevaluate your life? God seeks relationship with us and not just relying on Him to provide our needs. Look at it this way, will you give same attention and reward to a child that rebels in your home, disobeys, and disrespects you, as you would an obedient one who seeks to please you all the time? He loves us equally but there is consequence to our rebellious acts and alienation from Him.

Get your spiritual life right with God today and watch your frustrations disappear. You will begin to experience peace of mind and better enjoyment of all other aspects of your life. You will discover having enough time to achieve all you NEED to. Provide leadership in this aspect in your home, and watch peace reign in it.

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Your time management skills are very vital. It’s not about TO-DO LIST. Pursue living an effective life against efficient life. Effectiveness makes you mostly find yourself doing IMPORTANT AND VITAL task against URGENT AND VITAL ones. That is the whole essence of this article. Resist every temptation to go with the flow or crowd and live intentionally. Accept the fact that life is not just about you. Put away the life of ENTITLEMENT. Most importantly, planning and execution is vital. Make a decision now, take action and start living intentionally.

Reginald Uche
Contributor.
Religious/relational commentator